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Is It Normal Not To Want Sex After Having A Baby?

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Unlike the major sexual complaint of men, erectile dysfunction, the biggest sexual problem for women, low sex drive, is blamed on a mix of both physical and mental factors. In many instances, ED for men can be treated by just popping a pill. The same cannot be said about the loss of interest in sex by women. Sheryl Kingsberg, Ph.D., a sex psychologist argues that the sexuality of a woman is not only multifaceted, but also quite complicated. Therefore, in as much as medical practitioners and sex therapists would love to come up with one or two treatments or a one-punch treatment, their efforts have not born fruits.

Among the major causes of low sex drive in women is the birth of a child. Note that the same happens at some points during pregnancy. Clearly, the life of a woman is never easy. Post Partum libido loss in women particularly happens after the first baby. Here are some of the factors attributed to this sexual dysfunction.


Taking care of a new born is not a walk in the park. It is usually a huge change in a woman’s life, and her partner too. By the end of the day, you find yourself emotionally and physically drained due to the attention given to the new born. Taking care of the baby is almost a fulltime job which means that the last thing on the list is to have sex.

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Healing is taking place

Combine the fatigue of taking care of a newborn with the recovery from the pains of giving birth – irrespective of whether delivery took place vaginally or via cesarean section – and life couldn’t get any harder. Labor pains, for a good number of women, are especially traumatizing. For such a woman, sex is the last thing she will think of at this point in her life. Besides, the hormones are usually in the process of returning to normalcy, and this could take a toll on her.

Poor body image/ low self-esteem

For starters, a woman who has recently given birth might be afraid of engaging in sex as she worries that it might be painful. Also, the first sexual encounters after child birth are coupled with discomforts. These difficult experiences alongside the fact that her body is still recovering from child birth (don’t forget the weight gain which is significant at times) may leave a woman feeling less attractive. Remember, low self-esteem, or poor body image can make any woman feel less sexy and in turn affect her interest in sexual activities.

What is the way forward?

In a few months, things will get back to normal. Of paramount importance is to make sure that the new mother receives as much support as possible. If possible, she should get assistance with not only the housework but also with taking care of the baby. This kind of help goes a long way in alleviating the possible symptoms of post partum depression – another cause of low sex drive. If you are currently in this predicament, let your partner know what you are going through. Keeping communication lines open helps a lot in situations of this nature.

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