Clever Ways To Get In The Mood for Sex When You Are a Parent
Parenthood is a transformative journey filled with joy, challenges, and endless love. However, amidst the wonder of raising children, it can be easy for intimacy between partners to take a backseat. Finding time to reconnect physically might feel like an uphill battle, but there are clever ways to ignite that spark of passion and romance, even amidst the chaos of parenthood. Let’s explore strategies that can help you get in the mood for intimacy when balancing the demands of being a parent.
Prioritize Intimacy
The first step toward rekindling intimacy is recognizing its importance. Often, parents find themselves prioritizing their children’s needs above their own romantic connection. Acknowledging that intimacy is a crucial part of a healthy relationship can help shift your perspective. Just as you schedule doctor’s appointments or playdates, schedule time for one another. Setting aside a specific “date night” each week reminds you both of the importance of maintaining your bond, even if it’s spent at home after the kids are asleep.
Create a Romantic Atmosphere
Setting the stage can significantly enhance the mood for intimacy. Transform your living space into a romantic haven by dimming the lights, lighting candles, and playing soft music. The ambiance can work wonders in shifting your mindset from parental duties to romantic engagement. Simple touches, like fresh flowers or a clean space, can boost the feeling of romance. Make it a ritual—whether it’s doing these little things before your partner arrives home or before you both retire for the evening—as consistency can help establish a connection.
Develop a “Non-Negotiable” Ritual
Identify small daily rituals that signal the end of “parent-mode” and the beginning of “couple-mode.” Perhaps it’s a glass of wine together after the kids are in bed, or a walk around the neighborhood as the sun goes down. This carve-out time allows your minds to shift gears, making it easier to get into the mood. Over time, this non-negotiable ritual can become a powerful cue to transition from parenting responsibilities to romantic engagement.
Communicate Openly
As parents, it’s easy for communication to become logistical—“Did you feed the baby?” or “Have you checked the kids’ homework?” But it’s important to carve out space for more intimate conversations. Share your desires, your feelings about intimacy, and what you both need from each other. Understanding your partner’s perspective can foster a deeper emotional response, lighting the flame for physical connection.
Embrace Spontaneity
While establishing routines is essential, occasionally embracing spontaneity can ignite passion. This may look like sending a flirty text to your partner during the day to keep the excitement alive. Sneak in a quick kiss while passing each other in the kitchen or cuddle on the couch while watching a movie after the kids are asleep. Those spontaneous moments build excitement that can lead to passionate nights, reminding you both of the playful intimacy you once enjoyed.
Show Affection Throughout the Day
Increasing physical touches during the day, even in non-sexual contexts, can help build intimacy. Hold hands while watching TV, sneak in a back rub while folding laundry, or steal kisses before you part ways for work. These small gestures reinforce your affection for one another and signal your desire to connect. The more you touch and engage physically, the easier it can become to enter the mood for sex when the moment presents itself.
Engage in Playfulness
Reconnect with your inner child and embrace playfulness in your interactions. This could involve turning chores into a fun game, reminiscing about inside jokes, or reliving some of those carefree moments from your dating life. Laughter is a powerful aphrodisiac, and shared fun can recharge your emotional connection, making it easier to feel desired and sexy.
Take Care of Yourself
Self-care can often fall by the wayside for parents who are too busy tending to their family’s needs. Remember, though, that taking care of yourself is essential for your mental and physical wellbeing, including your sex life. A little “me-time” can boost self-esteem and make you feel more attractive. Whether it’s hitting the gym, getting a haircut, or indulging in a bubble bath, make time for these activities. When you feel good about yourself, it naturally radiates into your romantic relationship.
Be Mindful of Stress
Parenting comes with its share of stressors, which can often dampen desire. It is essential to be mindful of when stress levels are high and how they impact your relationship. Practicing mindfulness techniques or stress-relief activities—like yoga, meditation, or deep-breathing exercises—can help both partners ease tension. When stress levels decrease, the pathway for intimacy opens up.
Explore Each Other’s Fantasies
Discussing fantasies can add an element of intrigue and excitement to your sex life. Create a safe space for these conversations, free from judgment. Sharing desires can help you both understand what excites the other and encourage exploration beyond your current routine. Consider trying new activities or role-plays that can help unlock those desires.
Schedule “Intimacy Check-Ins”
Just like you might review your week ahead as parents, consider planning specific moments to check in on your intimacy needs. These check-ins may include discussing what’s working, identifying what’s not, and brainstorming ways to reconnect. By making intimacy a collaborative effort rather than a solo endeavor, you both take an active role in enhancing your romantic connection.
Conclusion
Getting in the mood for sex when you’re a parent may require extra effort, but it’s worth it for the health of your relationship. By being intentional, creative, and communicative, you can reignite that spark and foster deeper intimacy. Remember, you are not just parents—you are partners in love, and nurturing your connection benefits not only you, but also your entire family. Embrace the journey of parenthood while celebrating the passion that brought you there.