Things You Didn’t Know He Wants You To Do In Bed
For too long, the narrative around sex, especially heterosexual sex, has often been centered on female pleasure and satisfaction – and rightfully so. However, somewhere along the way, the assumption quietly settled in that men are simple creatures in the bedroom, easily pleased with the basics and perhaps not as complex in their desires as women are. This couldn’t be further from the truth. While men may sometimes feel societal pressure to appear uncomplicated or ‘always ready,’ beneath the surface simmers a rich tapestry of desires, preferences, and fantasies that often go unexpressed, sometimes even unnoticed by their partners.
It’s time to dismantle these outdated stereotypes and dive into the nuances of male desire. Because while every man is an individual with unique tastes, there are certain threads of unspoken yearnings that resonate across the masculine experience in the bedroom. This isn’t about fulfilling some secret male agenda; it’s about fostering deeper intimacy, hotter passion, and a more mutually satisfying sexual connection. It’s about understanding that his pleasure is just as important as yours and that exploring his desires is a thrilling journey you can embark on together.
So, are you ready to unlock some of the less-discussed desires your man might harbor in the bedroom? Prepare to be surprised. Here are some things he secretly, or perhaps not-so-secretly, wishes you would do, that you might not have even considered:
1. Take the Reins: Embrace Your Dominant Side
While the image of the assertive man leading the charge is culturally ingrained, many men find immense turn-on in a woman who confidently takes control. In the bedroom, this translates to you initiating, you dictating the pace, you guiding the exploration. It’s incredibly liberating for a man to relinquish control and surrender to your desires and direction. It flips the script and introduces an exciting dynamic.
This doesn’t mean you need to become a dominatrix overnight (unless that’s your thing!). It can be as simple as initiating sex more often, taking the lead in foreplay, or verbally directing him during intimacy. Tell him what feels good, where you want to be touched, and how you want him to touch you. This assertiveness is incredibly attractive and can ignite a fire in him like nothing else. It shows confidence, desire, and a willingness to take him on a thrilling ride.
2. Unleash Your Vocal Side: Dirty Talk is a Symphony
Think moaning, whispering, and even letting loose with a bit of playful dirty talk. Many women are hesitant to vocalize their pleasure or engage in ‘raunchy’ talk, fearing it might be perceived as vulgar or unfeminine. However, for many men, hearing you verbalize your pleasure is an absolute aphrodisiac. It’s a direct confirmation that what he’s doing is working, that he’s pleasing you, and that you are truly in the moment.
Dirty talk doesn’t have to be overly explicit or uncomfortable. Start small. Whisper in his ear how good he feels, tell him what you’re craving, or describe the sensations you’re experiencing. The sound of your voice expressing desire is powerfully stimulating and can escalate the passion to new heights. It creates a feedback loop of arousal, driving both of you deeper into the experience.
3. Explore Beyond the Usual Suspects: Sensual Touch is a Full-Body Experience
It’s easy to get caught up focusing on the erogenous zones we all know and love. But the male body is a landscape of sensitivity, and often, areas beyond the obvious are incredibly responsive to touch. Don’t just limit your explorations to his genitals. Think about his neck, his back, his chest, his inner thighs – places that are often overlooked but can be incredibly sensitive.
Experiment with different types of touch. Run your fingers lightly over his skin, explore with pressure, use your nails gently, or even try soft kisses and nibbles across his body. This kind of full-body sensual exploration feels incredibly indulgent and communicates that you are interested in his entire being, not just one part of him. It broadens the horizon of pleasure and makes him feel truly desired and appreciated for everything he is.
4. Eye Contact: Intimacy in the Gaze
In the heat of passion, it’s easy to get lost in physical sensations and forget the power of eye contact. But locking eyes during sex is a profoundly intimate act. It creates a deep connection, a moment of vulnerability and shared passion that goes beyond the physical. It says, “I see you, I’m present with you, and I’m completely immersed in this moment with you.”
Making and maintaining eye contact during sex can feel vulnerable initially, but it’s a game-changer for intimacy. It amplifies the emotional connection and makes the physical act even more meaningful. It’s a powerful way to communicate desire, connection, and trust, all without uttering a single word. Don’t underestimate the electricity that can spark between two people who are truly seeing each other in the midst of intimacy.
5. Slow Down and Savor: Pleasure is in the Journey, Not Just the Destination
In our fast-paced world, sex can sometimes become goal-oriented, focusing solely on orgasm. However, many men crave a slower, more sensual experience that allows them to fully savor the sensations and connect with their partner on a deeper level. Rushing through foreplay or skipping it altogether is a common complaint.
Embrace the art of slow sex. Prolong foreplay, explore each other’s bodies leisurely, and focus on the build-up of pleasure rather than rushing to the finish line. This not only enhances the physical experience but also builds anticipation and heightens arousal. Taking your time allows for deeper connection, more exploration, and ultimately, a more satisfying and memorable experience for both of you.
6. Playfulness and Laughter: Sex Can (and Should Be) Fun!
Sex doesn’t always have to be serious and intensely passionate. Sometimes, the most enjoyable moments are filled with laughter, playfulness, and lightheartedness. Don’t be afraid to be silly, to tease him, or to inject humor into your intimate moments. This can alleviate pressure, create a relaxed atmosphere, and make sex even more enjoyable.
A playful tickle fight that escalates into something more, a silly joke whispered in the heat of the moment, or just laughing together during sex can create a sense of fun and lightness that strengthens your connection. It reminds both of you that sex is also about joy, connection, and sharing a pleasurable experience, and it doesn’t always have to be intensely serious to be deeply satisfying.
7. Experimentation and Novelty: Keep Things Spicy
Routine can creep into any relationship, and the bedroom is no exception. While familiarity and comfort are comforting, they can also lead to predictability and a sense of stagnation. Men, like women, thrive on novelty and excitement. Introducing new things into your sex life is a fantastic way to reignite passion and keep things fresh and exciting.
This doesn’t have to be extreme. It could be trying a new position, exploring different locations, incorporating toys, or even just changing the time of day you have sex. The key is to break out of the routine and introduce elements of surprise and novelty. This shows him that you are invested in your sexual connection and are willing to explore new horizons together, keeping the spark alive and vibrant.
8. Praise and Appreciation: Words of Affirmation Matter
Men often receive less verbal affirmation about their sexual prowess than women. In a society that often equates masculinity with sexual performance, genuine praise and appreciation from a partner can be incredibly validating and confidence-boosting. Let him know when he’s doing something you love, tell him how good he feels, and express your appreciation for his efforts.
Verbal affirmations, like “That feels amazing,” “You’re so good at this,” or simply “Thank you, that was incredible,” are powerful words that can significantly enhance his experience and strengthen your bond. It’s not about ego-stroking; it’s about genuine appreciation and letting him know that his efforts are noticed and valued. This kind of positive reinforcement encourages him and fosters a more open and appreciative dynamic in your sexual relationship.
9. The Afterglow: Cuddles, Connection, and Conversation
Sex isn’t over when the orgasm is reached. The moments after intimacy are crucial for building emotional connection and fostering intimacy. Many men appreciate and crave the afterglow – the cuddling, the soft touches, the quiet conversations that follow sex. It’s in these moments that you solidify the emotional bond and transition from physical intimacy to deeper emotional closeness.
Don’t rush to get up and get dressed immediately after sex. Linger in bed together. Cuddle, talk, laugh, or simply enjoy each other’s presence. These moments of aftercare are just as important as the act itself in building a strong and fulfilling sexual and emotional relationship. It communicates that you value him beyond just the physical act and cherish the intimacy you share.
Opening the Dialogue: The Key to Deeper Intimacy
Ultimately, the most important thing you can do is to foster open communication with your partner. This list is a starting point, a guide to consider some common but often unstated desires. But the best way to know what your man wants in bed is to ask him, to create a safe space where he feels comfortable sharing his fantasies, desires, and preferences.
Initiate conversations about sex. Be curious, be receptive, and be willing to explore together. Sex is a journey of discovery, and the more you understand each other’s needs and desires, the more fulfilling and passionate your intimate life will become. By stepping outside the box of assumptions and actively seeking to understand his unspoken desires, you’re not just enhancing your sex life; you’re building a deeper, more connected, and more satisfying relationship in every way. So, are you ready to embark on this exciting exploration together?