Navigating differences in sex drive between partners can be a tricky situation. If one partner wants sex frequently but the other doesn’t, it can cause tension and strain the relationship. Here are five things to do if you find yourself in this situation.
- Try to touch each other sensually
For a lot of women, sex can be quite bothersome. Men tend to think that as long as they are making advances, a woman should receive them.
But if your man is boring in bed, you may disagree, right? Women can be blunt about such things with other women but stay quiet in front of men because they don’t want to hurt the ego of such men.
Well then, if you’re tired of the same sex routine but your spouse wants more sex, try to teach them a different way of being intimate.
You both need to understand that there is more to intimacy than just penetrative sex. So, guide your partner to unceasing foreplay.
Try to focus on the intimacy you both can share when you’re just sitting on the sofa and touching each other sensually. Who says arousal can’t be maximum just because you’re not using your penis?
- Actually, schedule your sexy time!
Okay, if suddenly getting asked for sex, or teased out of the blue when you’re not in the mood bothers you, how about creating a schedule for sex?
Sure, spontaneity is reduced when you do such a thing, but life isn’t Hollywood sex! You’ve got work schedules and other appointments and you’re tired all the time.
So, what’s so bad about creating a schedule for y https://www.northamptoncouplestherapy.com/blog/your-partner-wants-sex-more-than-you-do/our sexy time? AT least you’ll be more ready for it and in the end, you both can enjoy sex with a higher level of satisfaction.
According to the study published by Northampton Couples Therapy, consider prioritizing sex rather than relegating it to the bottom of a lengthy to-do list. This practice is one of the two common strategies observed in couples who enjoy a satisfying sex life. Given that people tend to be less inclined toward sexual activity after a demanding, stress-filled day, aim to allocate time for intimacy when you’re not overly tired.
So, if this sounds like a good idea to you, talk your partner through this and work together to create a schedule that works for the two of you.
You might just be more excited about sex when you’re looking forward to it because you already know it’s coming at a good time! Win-win, right?
- Do something special even if you aren’t having sex frequently
So, for whatever reason, you still can’t have more sex. Maybe tight schedules or something else. But your partner is sulking and complaining because he wants more sex.
Of course, that’s very lacking in understanding, but you can negotiate with your spouse.
As outlined in the research published by Psychological Today, declining sexual activity doesn’t necessitate the demise of emotional connection. You can propose non-sexual alternatives, such as taking a walk together or engaging in a board game. Although these activities might not appear inherently sexual, investing quality time in each other will contribute to strengthening the friendship aspect of your relationship. Ultimately, this can lead to more frequent and higher quality sexual experiences.
Tell them that although you can’t have more frequent sex with them, you can promise to do something more special when you do get intimate. Who knows? What works for both of you?
Maybe more oral? Maybe longer hours? You need to talk this through and reach an agreement that doesn’t cross anybody’s boundaries.
On top of that, you must keep the promises you have made, otherwise, it’s pointless to make an agreement in the first place.
Also, if it suits your schedule, you can start the night with a romantic dinner to really make it feel super special.
- Talk to a marriage counsellor to find balance
Of course, the two people are still individuals in their own regard. Although you are married, you are still people with different priorities and worldviews.
If you have tried to talk with your partner and have tried to do something different to make your relationship work, but still can’t find balance, talk to a professional.
As per the study reported by Verywell Mind, addressing a difference in sexual desire may require professional assistance in certain instances. Seeking guidance from a marriage counselor can aid in identifying whether a medical issue is contributing to your reduced desire, and they can refer you to a doctor if needed. If you’ve attempted communication with your partner and experimented with various approaches to improve your relationship, yet the equilibrium remains elusive, consulting a professional is recommended.
Maybe you are just lacking the finesse to touch on subjects that are within your blind spot. When you get the counsel of a marriage counsellor, the specialist will be able to see your situation from a higher perspective.
That way he or she will be able to give professional advice for you both to reach an agreement. You will be talked through some methods and practices, as well as talked about some sense, honestly.
When getting the help of a therapist, one try may not be enough. So if you find your first therapist doesn’t suit you, try again.
- Ask them to help around the house!
Now, maybe the reason you are not interested in more sex is that you are often exhausted at the end of the day. Do you work outside and when you come home you still need to take care of house chores?
Damn, if everything is your responsibility and you’re tired, you need to sleep indeed! Your spouse shouldn’t be self-unaware and so selfish to a point of not noticing this about your daily routine.
So if your spouse wants more sex, they should be aware enough about their role in the household. They need to also help out! That releases a lot of your burdens and that way you will have reserved energy for sex.
Damn girl, sex is a sport, okay? That activity requires a lot of energy! Don’t hesitate to talk some sense into your spouse’s mind if this is the case with your relationship.
As a closing remark, we can say that consent is always important, married or not. The five things we put forward can help you avoid having frequent sex with your partner and can help you have open and honest communication with your partner.
Selfish In Bed: 5 Signs And How To Communicate About It
Selfishness in bed can be a major issue in a relationship, causing resentment, frustration, and even the breakdown of intimacy. It refers to a partner who prioritizes their own pleasure and needs over their partner’s, without considering their feelings or desires. This can manifest in various ways, from being physically dominant to being emotionally detached. If you have experienced this in your relationship, it is important to recognize the signs and find ways to communicate about it. In this paper, we will discuss five signs of selfishness in bed and how to address them in a healthy and effective manner.
1. Lack of Communication
One of the most common signs of selfishness in bed is a lack of communication. This can manifest in various ways, such as not asking for consent, not discussing preferences, or not checking in with their partner during sex. When one partner is not communicating their needs and desires, it can lead to a one-sided sexual experience where the other partner’s needs are not being met.
How to communicate: The key to addressing this issue is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your sexual needs and desires. It is important to establish a safe and comfortable space where both partners can express themselves without fear of judgment. Set aside some time to talk about your sexual preferences and boundaries, and encourage your partner to do the same. This will help create a better understanding of each other’s needs and lead to a more fulfilling sexual experience.
2. Lack of Reciprocity
Another sign of selfishness in bed is a lack of reciprocity. This means that one partner is focused solely on their own pleasure and does not reciprocate the same level of attention and effort towards their partner. This can leave the other partner feeling unfulfilled and neglected.
How to communicate: It is important to communicate to your partner that a healthy sexual relationship involves mutual pleasure and satisfaction. Express your desire for them to also prioritize your needs and pleasure in the bedroom. You can also guide them and give them feedback during intimacy to ensure that both partners are equally involved in the experience.
3. Ignoring Boundaries
Selfish partners in bed may also disregard their partner’s boundaries. This can include pressuring their partner into trying new things, ignoring their partner’s discomfort or pain, or crossing physical or emotional boundaries without consent. This behavior can be damaging to the trust and safety within the relationship.
How to communicate: It is crucial to set and respect each other’s boundaries in a sexual relationship. If your partner is pushing your boundaries, it is important to communicate your discomfort and ask them to stop. If they continue to ignore your boundaries, it may be necessary to seek professional help to address this behavior.
4. Lack of Emotional Connection
Being emotionally distant in bed is another sign of selfishness. This can include a partner who is only focused on their own pleasure and neglects the emotional connection and intimacy with their partner. They may also be emotionally unavailable outside of the bedroom, which can create a lack of intimacy and connection in the relationship.
How to communicate: It is important to have open and honest communication about emotions and feelings in the relationship. Express to your partner the importance of emotional connection and intimacy in the bedroom. Encourage them to share their feelings and emotions with you, and make an effort to create a deeper emotional bond outside of the bedroom as well.
5. Lack of Effort
Selfish partners may also lack effort in the bedroom. This can manifest in various ways, such as not putting in the effort to please their partner, always expecting their partner to initiate sex, or not trying new things to keep the sexual relationship exciting and fulfilling.
How to communicate: It is important to communicate to your partner that a healthy sexual relationship requires effort from both partners. Encourage them to try new things and make an effort to please you. You can also take the initiative to initiate sex and try new things yourself, to show your partner that it is a two-way street.
In conclusion, selfishness in bed can be a major issue in a relationship, but it is possible to address it through effective communication. It is important to recognize the signs of selfishness and have open and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs and desires. Remember to approach the topic with empathy and understanding, and work together to create a fulfilling and mutually satisfying sexual relationship.
