Sexual exploration and experimentation are necessary ingredients in having a good, healthy sex life. None is, however, more exciting or versatile at spicing up things in the bedroom than definitely strap-on play. A strap-on is also referred to as strap-on dildo or harness, and it is a kind of sex toy that allows one partner to penetrate the other. They can be used for both vaginal and anal play and are popular with people of all genders and sexual orientations. If you’re interested in trying out strap-on play, here are five sex tips to get you started.
1. Start with communication and consent
Before engaging in strap-on play, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your desires, boundaries, and expectations. Discussing your fantasies and concerns can help build trust and deepen your connection, enabling you to explore new experiences with greater confidence and enthusiasm.
Here are some guidelines for communicating and obtaining consent:
Choose the right time and place: Find a comfortable and private setting where you and your partner can discuss your desires and boundaries without interruption.
Be respectful and open-minded: Listen carefully to your partner’s thoughts and feelings, and avoid judging or criticizing their ideas. Instead, focus on finding common ground and exploring options that appeal to both of you.
Use clear and specific language: Avoid vague or ambiguous phrases, and use clear and specific language to express your desires and expectations.
Establish a safe word or gesture: A safe word or gesture can help ensure that both parties feel comfortable and empowered to stop or slow down the activity at any time.
Obtain ongoing consent: Consent is not a one-time event but an ongoing process that requires active communication and negotiation throughout the activity.
2. Choose the right strap-on
There are various types and designs of strap-ons available, and selecting the right one is crucial for ensuring a comfortable and enjoyable experience. Here are some guidelines for choosing the right strap-on:
Consider the material: Strap-ons are typically made from silicone, rubber, or glass, each with its pros and cons. Silicone is soft and flexible, making it a popular choice for beginners. Rubber is more flexible and durable than silicone but can be more challenging to clean. Glass is rigid and easy to clean but may not be as comfortable for beginners.
Determine the size: Choosing the right size harness and dildo is essential for ensuring comfort and preventing injury. For beginners, it’s recommended to start with a smaller dildo and gradually work your way up to larger sizes.
Check the fit: Make sure the harness fits securely and comfortably around your hips and thighs. A well-fitted harness should distribute the weight of the dildo evenly, preventing soreness or muscle strain.
Consider the design: Strap-ons come in various designs, from simple harnesses with attached dildos to more complex systems with interchangeable parts. Choose a design that suits your needs and preferences, taking into account factors such as ease of use, versatility, and aesthetics.
3. Use plenty of lubricant
Regardless of your experience level, using plenty of lubricant is essential during strap-on play. The anus and vagina do not self-lubricate, so adding lube will make the experience more comfortable and pleasurable for both partners. Be sure to use a high-quality water-based or silicone-based lubricant that is safe for use with sex toys. Avoid using oil-based lubricants as they can degrade the material of the strap-on and cause bacterial infections.
4. Experiment with different positions
Strap-on play offers a wide range of possibilities when it comes to positions. You can try the traditional missionary or doggy style, but don’t be afraid to get creative and try out different positions. For vaginal penetration, you can also incorporate oral sex or clitoral stimulation with your hands or a vibrator. For anal penetration, it’s essential to always start slow and use plenty of lube. Experimenting with different positions will not only add variety to your play but also help you find what feels best for you and your partner.
5. Communicate and check in
During strap-on play, it’s important to continuously communicate with your partner and check in with each other. Let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t. You can also ask them to guide you by providing feedback or directing your movements. It’s also essential to check in with each other emotionally and physically. Pay attention to your partner’s body language and verbal cues. If something doesn’t feel right, don’t be afraid to speak up and make adjustments.
It may simply mean that strap-on play is an exciting and fun way to learn new sexual experiences with your partner. Remember open communication, choice of the right strap-on, a great deal of lubricant, experimentation in different positions, and constant checking-in with each other. With these tips, you and your partner will enjoy a pleasurable and fulfilling strap-on play experience. Always remember to preserve at all costs consent, respect, and pleasure in every sexual activity.
