Oral sex is most of the time considered taboo and shame-filled. People are afraid to speak about wanting more oral sex or, at least, express a need for more when approaching their partner. However, remember that wanting more oral sex is completely normal, and there is nothing wrong with expressing this desire. In fact, open and honest communication about sexual needs can actually make for a much better relationship and improvement in sexual satisfaction. The paper will explore reasons for why it’s okay to want more oral sex and provide tips on asking for it in a respectful and effective manner.
Firstly, it’s important to acknowledge that oral sex can be a pleasurable and intimate experience for both partners. It’s a way to explore and discover each other’s bodies in a different way and can greatly enhance sexual pleasure. However, it’s also important to recognize that not everyone enjoys oral sex in the same way or to the same degree. Some people may have had negative experiences in the past or simply do not find it pleasurable. This is completely valid and should be respected. However, if one partner desires more oral sex in their sexual repertoire, it’s important to have a conversation about it and find a compromise that works for both parties.
One of the main reasons why people may hesitate to ask for more oral sex is due to the fear of rejection or judgement. They may worry that their partner will think they are being selfish or that their desire for oral sex is abnormal. However, it’s important to remember that sexual desires and preferences vary from person to person and there is no “normal” when it comes to sexual activities. It’s also important to remember that asking for more oral sex is not selfish, as long as it’s done in a respectful and consensual manner. In fact, it can be seen as a form of self-care and advocating for one’s own sexual pleasure.
So, how can one effectively ask for more oral sex without feeling awkward or uncomfortable?
Create a safe and open environment for communication:
Before bringing up the topic of oral sex, it is essential to establish a safe and open environment for communication. This means creating a space where both partners feel comfortable expressing their desires and needs without fear of judgment or rejection. One way to do this is by setting aside dedicated time to talk about your relationship and sexual needs. This can be done during a date night or a regular check-in conversation.
Use “I” statements:
When discussing your desires for more oral sex, it is essential to use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. “I” statements focus on your feelings and needs, rather than placing blame or criticism on your partner. For example, instead of saying “you never give me oral sex,” try saying “I would really enjoy it if we could incorporate more oral sex into our routine.”
Be direct and specific:
When requesting more oral sex, it is essential to be direct and specific about what you want. Vague requests can lead to misunderstandings or unmet expectations. Be clear about what you are asking for and how it would make you feel. For example, you could say “I would love it if you could go down on me for a few minutes before we have intercourse.”
Focus on your partner’s pleasure:
While it is important to communicate your desires, it is equally important to consider your partner’s pleasure and needs. Before making your request, ask your partner about their sexual preferences and what they enjoy. This can help create a more balanced and enjoyable sexual experience for both partners.
Use humor and playfulness:
Injecting some humor and playfulness into the conversation can help alleviate any awkwardness or discomfort. You could make a lighthearted joke or use a playful tone when making your request. For example, you could say “I’ve heard that oral sex is great for your oral health – want to help me out?”
Be open to feedback and negotiation:
When discussing your desires, it is essential to be open to feedback and negotiation. Your partner may have their own desires and needs that they want to discuss. Be willing to listen to their perspective and find a compromise that works for both of you.
Seek out resources:
If you find it challenging to bring up the topic of oral sex with your partner, consider seeking out resources such as books, articles, or therapy to help you navigate the conversation. A therapist or sex coach can provide guidance and support as you work to improve your communication and intimacy.
Conclusion: It is totally all right when feeling okay wanting more oral sex in the relationship. It’s a natural and very enjoyable form of sexual expression, but it should be talked about honestly, sensitively, and with understanding. Effective communication and mutual respect will then be the key to finding a compromise that will work for both partners in each situation. Remember how sexual desires and preferences vary, and there is no shame in expressing them. So don’t be afraid to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about increasing the amount of oral sex in your sexual activities. It could make all the difference in your sexual relationship and add a lot more pleasure and closeness to your lives.
