Sex is essential in a relationship because it not only bonds the two physically but also emotionally, improving their intimacy and communication. Not all couples, however, enjoy a good and fulfilling sexual relationship. What then sets some couples apart to have a happy, fulfilling sex life? Research and interviews conducted among happy couples have enabled me to know five secrets all happy couples know about sex.
1. Communication is key
Effective communication is crucial in all aspects of a relationship, including sex. Happy couples understand the importance of open and honest communication when it comes to their sexual desires, needs, and boundaries. They are not afraid to express themselves and discuss what they like and dislike in bed. This type of communication helps build trust and intimacy between partners, allowing them to explore and experiment together, leading to a more satisfying and fulfilling sex life.
Communication is also essential in addressing any issues or concerns related to sex. For example, if one partner experiences pain during sex, open communication can help identify the cause and find a solution. Similarly, if one partner feels that their sexual needs are not being met, open communication can help them express this and find a way to meet those needs.
Furthermore, communication is not limited to verbal communication. Non-verbal communication, such as body language, eye contact, and facial expressions, can also play a significant role in expressing one’s sexual needs and desires. Happy couples are attuned to each other’s non-verbal cues, allowing them to respond and adapt to each other’s needs.
2. They prioritize quality over quantity
Contrary to popular belief, happy couples do not necessarily have sex every day. Instead, they prioritize quality over quantity when it comes to sex. It’s not about how often they engage in sexual activity, but the connection and pleasure they experience when they do. For happy couples, sex is not a chore or a task to be completed, but a source of pleasure, intimacy, and connection.
Prioritizing quality over quantity means taking the time to focus on each other and build intimacy. This can be achieved through various forms of physical affection, such as cuddling, kissing, and massaging. Happy couples make time for each other and prioritize these forms of physical affection, even when they are not engaging in sexual activity.
Furthermore, prioritizing quality over quantity means being present and engaged during sexual activity. For happy couples, sex is not a means to an end, but an end in itself. They are fully present and engaged in the moment, focusing on each other’s pleasure and connection.
3. They focus on pleasure, not performance
Many couples put pressure on themselves to perform well in bed, which can lead to anxiety and disappointment. However, happy couples know that sex is not a performance; it’s about pleasure and connection. They focus on enjoying the moment and satisfying each other rather than worrying about their performance or achieving a specific goal. This mindset allows them to be more present and enjoy the experience without any unnecessary pressure or expectations.
4. They keep the spark alive
In long-term relationships, it is common for the initial intensity to wane. However, successful couples understand that keeping the spark alive in their sexual relationship requires ongoing effort. They are open to exploring new things, whether it is role-playing, introducing sex toys, or simply changing their routine. This willingness to incorporate novelty and variety into their sex life is crucial for maintaining a satisfying and gratifying relationship.
According to research, engaging in new and exciting activities together can increase relationship satisfaction and promote feelings of passion and desire. This is known as the “excitation transfer theory,” which suggests that experiencing excitement and arousal during new activities can carry over into the sexual relationship. For instance, a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that couples who engaged in exciting activities together experienced increased relationship satisfaction and sexual desire.
Moreover, incorporating novelty and variety in the bedroom can help couples overcome sexual boredom, which is a common issue in long-term relationships. Sexual boredom can be caused by a lack of variety in the sexual relationship, leading to decreased pleasure and decreased satisfaction. By trying new things, couples can keep the spark alive, and maintain a satisfying and fulfilling sex life.
5. They understand the importance of non-sexual intimacy
Physical intimacy is not always about sex. Happy couples know that non-sexual forms of physical affection, such as cuddling, holding hands, and kissing, are just as important for maintaining a strong and healthy sexual relationship. These acts of non-sexual intimacy help in building a deeper emotional connection and maintaining the bond between partners, leading to a more satisfying sex life.
In last respects, happy couples know that great and satisfactory sex has very little to do with the act of sex itself. It is about open communication, quality over quantity, being pleasure-centered, keeping the spark alive, and knowing that non-sexual intimacy matters. By working these secrets into a relationship, a couple can build a strong, fulfilling sexual connection that will yield a happier and healthier relationship overall.
