Sex is natural and a part of human life; however, there is a tendency to clothe it with shame and stigma. People are mostly made to feel bad about their sexual feelings and acts; such vibes often lead them to shame, embarrassment, and trauma. However, there are some things about which you should never feel bad while having sex, simply because they are completely normal and natural. This paper will discuss five things that you should never feel bad about when conducting in sex.
1. Your Sexual Desires and Fantasies
The first sexual red flag that people should avoid is when someone has a negative attitude towards their sexual desires and fantasies. Many people feel ashamed or guilty about their sexual desires and fantasies due to societal and cultural pressures. This shame can prevent people from expressing their desires and boundaries to their partners, which can lead to non-consensual or unwanted sexual activities. Therefore, it is crucial to communicate openly and honestly with one’s partner about one’s sexual desires and boundaries. This communication can help ensure that both partners are comfortable and on the same page regarding their sexual activities.
Moreover, everyone has different sexual desires and fantasies, and there is nothing wrong with exploring them in a consensual and safe manner. Whether one’s fantasies involve role-playing, bondage, or something else entirely, as long as they are consensual and do not harm oneself or one’s partner, there is nothing wrong with exploring one’s sexual desires and fantasies. People should avoid partners who judge, shame, or dismiss their sexual desires and fantasies, as this behavior can be a sign of a non-supportive and potentially abusive relationship.
2. Your Body and Appearance
The second sexual red flag that people should avoid is when someone has a negative attitude towards one’s body and appearance. In today’s society, there is an immense pressure to have a certain body type or appearance to be considered attractive or desirable. This pressure can cause people to feel self-conscious and ashamed of their bodies during sex. However, it is essential to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to bodies, and everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way.
During sex, one’s partner is focused on the pleasure and connection with them, not on their physical appearance. Therefore, instead of feeling bad about one’s body, one should focus on the sensations and pleasure they are experiencing. People should avoid partners who judge, criticize, or objectify their bodies, as this behavior can be a sign of a disrespectful and potentially abusive relationship.
3. Your Sexual Performance
Another common thing that people feel bad about during sex is their performance. Society often puts pressure on men to be “macho” and always ready for sex, while women are expected to be passive and submissive. These expectations can lead to feelings of inadequacy or shame when someone is not able to perform or reach orgasm.
However, it is important to remember that sex is not just about performance and achieving a certain outcome. It is about pleasure, connection, and intimacy with your partner. Your sexual performance does not define your worth or value as a person, and there is nothing wrong with needing to take a break or trying something different.
4. Taking Breaks or Saying No
In a perfect world, sex would always be a mutually enjoyable and consensual experience. However, this is not always the case. There may be times when you need to take a break or say no to a sexual activity, and that is completely okay. It is important to listen to your body and your boundaries, and not feel pressured into doing something that you are not comfortable with.
Saying no or taking breaks does not mean that you are not attracted to your partner or that you do not want to have sex with them. It simply means that you need to take care of yourself and your well-being. Your partner should respect and understand your boundaries, and if they don’t, it may be a sign of an unhealthy or toxic relationship.
5. Your Sex Life Compared to Others
In today’s society, there is a lot of pressure to have a perfect sex life. Social media and movies often depict sex as always passionate, intense, and perfect, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or shame if your own sex life does not match up to these unrealistic expectations.
However, it is important to remember that every couple’s sex life is unique and there is no “right” or “normal” way to have sex. Comparing your sex life to others’ is unfair and can lead to unnecessary pressure and stress. Focus on what feels good and enjoyable for you and your partner, and do not feel bad if it is different from what you see in the media.
Conclusion: Sex forms part of a human’s natural life, and there is nothing you should feel bad about while having sex. Your desires, fantasies, body, performance, boundaries, and sex life are all real and valid. Listen to your partner, but also listen to yourself and your boundaries. Never compare yourself to somebody else. The most important thing during sex is that both partners are comfortable, safe, and enjoying themselves.
