There can be many reasons behind painful sex. Most people do not experience pain during sex, but those who experience it know it can be painful. We have listed 5 reasons you could feel pain during sex and what you can do about it.
- You’re not savouring the moment enough
Pain during sex may be an indication of an ailment, but for most women, the most common culprit is a lack of lubrication.
Your vagina naturally produces lubrication when you are sexually stimulated. However, natural lubrication does indeed take its sweet time to be adequate enough for penetrative sex.
If you are not savouring enough of the moment, lubrication may not be enough, and then friction between the penis and vagina becomes painful. With that said, don’t skim on foreplay and do enjoy taking your sweet time.
Vaginal dryness is usually felt during penetration. Inadequate moistness could increase friction, which result in pain and discomfort.
So how does a dry vagina feel? Well, it could itch or burn. Sometimes also, it may be sore and you may need to pee more often.
Per a Cleveland Clinic publication, patience during foreplay is essential. Ensure that you are fully aroused before your partner attempts penetrative sex.
Savour the moment and be sensuous with your partner. This is a moment to be kissing and touching a lot. Let them explore your body and stimulate you plenty before penetrative sex even happens.
When you already feel wet enough, then you can guide your partner. Tell them without words that it is time for them to enter your sacred temple.
- You guys are going too fast
In a different scenario, if you are often feeling pain during sex, it could be due to the fact that you are going too fast.
Some men may have the tendency of going too fast simply because men are generally sexually aroused a lot faster than women. The female body does indeed take a while to get to the same level of hotness as its male counterpart.
If you think this is the scenario for you, you don’t have to put up with your partner’s lack of sensibility. Simply communicate this: that you feel their rhythm is too fast and that allows too little time for your body to catch up.
Then, after they have understood the root of the issue (your discomfort during sex) let them know that it is better to take things a little slower. Men usually don’t get that kind of stuff without proper verbal communication.
- You’re somewhere else mentally
Another reason you could be lacking lubrication is that you are mentally in a different world. Instead of being fully absorbed in the present moment and engaging with your partner, your mind is busy thinking about something else.
The female brain has a tendency of getting caught up in many thoughts, so then you could be juggling a lot of tasks at the same time.
Sometimes though, anxiety, depression and body image worry could cloud your mind to such an extent that you don’t seem prepared for sex.
Relationship issues could also cause mental stress, thus preventing your form relaxing you pelvis muscles.
Under such circumstances, you may suffer from painful sex, per an article in the Mayo Clinic website publication.
And if any of the tasks that you are thinking about are worrying you, there is no way you could even bring yourself back to the present moment to focus on your partner.
Then you could be totally unresponsive to their sexual stimulation. If this is your case, you need to try to relax your mind and make a list of priorities so you can finish your tasks more effectively, as well as efficiently.
That way, they don’t occupy your mind all the time.
- His stuff is just too big
In some cases, some really small women are blessed with partners who have a really big penis. The sheer size could indeed cause penetrative sex to be painful.
In such a case, a lot of lube may be needed and you need to spend a good amount of time on foreplay. This will ensure a smooth entrance.
However, if your partner’s big size hits your cervix all the time (and this can be very painful) you just need to fix your position.
A position in which your partner can only penetrate you in a shallow manner is super helpful in this scenario. If you can handle the hurdle, standing sex is also usually helpful in this case.
Also, when starting with penetrative sex, let your partner insert only the tip of their penis so that your vagina slowly becomes larger to accommodate their entire phallus.
- You actually hate your partner
Lastly, if sex is always painful and not making you feel happy, and you know you aren’t particularly sick or anything, it may be the case that you actually hate the person you are with.
Sex should be consensual and agreed upon by two people who like each other. If you are in a relationship but your partner makes you feel dissatisfied, you will find it really hard to enjoy something as intimate as sex with them.
Of course, if you have been having an argument and that makes you harbour negative feelings, this should be over once you work through your issue.
Another reason for painful sex is sexual abuse. Some men tend to act out some scenes they have watched in the pornography.
In case your partner insists on performing certain moves and styles that hurt, even after you discussing these issues, then you’ll despise him, per a Mayo Clinic publication.
However, if you simply really hate your partner and can’t stand the idea of being intimate with them, to the point of sex being painful all the time, you need to break up, alright. Sex should always be fun and pleasant.
You don’t have to put up with bad sex.
To conclude, it was observed that several reasons could be the reason behind pain during sex. Women who experience this go through physical and emotional stress, but reflecting on these reasons might help you find your cause.
How Can I Overcome My Fear Of Sex Pain?
Sex is a natural and beautiful part of life, but for some women, the thought of experiencing pain during intercourse can induce fear and anxiety. This fear can stem from a variety of reasons, such as a past negative sexual experience, physical conditions, or societal stigmas surrounding female sexuality. Whatever the cause may be, the fear of sex pain is a common issue that many women face and can greatly impact their sexual and overall well-being. However, with the right approach and mindset, it is possible to overcome this fear and enjoy a fulfilling and pleasurable sex life.
First and foremost, it is essential to understand that pain during sex is not normal and should not be accepted as a natural part of the experience. Many women may believe that experiencing pain during intercourse is just something they have to endure, but this is not the case. Painful sex, also known as dyspareunia, can be caused by a variety of factors, including physical conditions such as endometriosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, or vaginal infections. It is vital to seek medical advice if you experience pain during sex to rule out any underlying physical issues.
In addition to physical causes, psychological factors can also contribute to pain during sex. Negative past sexual experiences, lack of communication with a partner, or feelings of shame or guilt can all lead to fear and anxiety around sex, resulting in pain. In these cases, seeking therapy or counseling can be beneficial in addressing and overcoming these underlying issues.
Communication is key when it comes to overcoming the fear of sex pain. It is essential to have open and honest communication with your partner about your fears and concerns. This can help alleviate any pressure or expectations and create a safe and comfortable environment for both partners. Communicating during sex is also crucial as you can guide your partner on what feels good and what doesn’t, helping to prevent any potential pain.
Another helpful approach is to take things slow and focus on the pleasure rather than the pain. Many women may rush through sexual activities, fearing the potential pain that may come. Instead, try to focus on the sensations and pleasure you are experiencing. Take time to explore your body and find what feels good for you. This can help shift your mindset from fear to pleasure and make the experience more enjoyable.
Practicing relaxation techniques can also be beneficial in overcoming the fear of sex pain. Deep breathing, mindfulness, and meditation can all help alleviate anxiety and tension in the body, making it easier to relax during sex. It is also crucial to be patient with yourself and not put pressure on having a perfect sexual experience. It may take time to overcome this fear, and that is okay. Be kind to yourself and celebrate small victories along the way.
Lastly, it is essential to educate yourself about female sexuality and the female body. Many women may not fully understand their own anatomy, leading to discomfort and pain during sex. Take the time to learn about your body and what feels good for you. This can also help you communicate better with your partner and guide them on how to pleasure you.
In conclusion, overcoming the fear of sex pain is a process that requires patience, understanding, and communication. It is crucial to address any physical or psychological issues and seek professional help if needed. Remember that sex should be a pleasurable and enjoyable experience, and pain is not something that should be accepted. By taking the time to understand your body, communicate with your partner, and focus on pleasure, you can overcome this fear and enjoy a fulfilling and satisfying sex life.
