It becomes part of normal human relations and, of course, a great need, but very few really relax and enjoy it. Sex is tremendously difficult to get out of your own head about. Most others are stuck in there from overthinking, self-consciousness, or past experiences, and for many, getting out of your head during sex can be quite the task. But with some practice and shifting self-attention, these mental barriers can be let go of, and one can actually feel it and get intimate with their partner. In this paper, we will discuss some tips and techniques about how to get out of your head during sex so that one can actually enjoy it.
1. Practice mindfulness: The first strategy for getting out of your head during sex is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment (Keng, Smoski, & Robins, 2011). This can be applied to sex by focusing on the sensations you are experiencing in your body, rather than getting lost in your thoughts. Pay attention to the touch of your partner, the rhythm of your breath, and the pleasure you are feeling. Mindfulness can help you to let go of any anxious or distracting thoughts and fully immerse yourself in the experience.
There are many ways to practice mindfulness during sex. One effective method is to focus on your breath. Pay attention to the way your breath feels as it enters and leaves your body. Focusing on your breath can help to ground you in the present moment and release any tension you may be holding in your body (Brown & Ryan, 2003). Another way to practice mindfulness during sex is to focus on the sensations you are experiencing in your body. Pay attention to the way your skin feels as it is touched, the way your muscles contract and release, and the overall sense of pleasure you are experiencing.
2. Communicate with your partner: The second strategy for getting out of your head during sex is to communicate with your partner. Communication is key in any sexual relationship, and it is especially important when it comes to overcoming mental barriers. If you find yourself getting stuck in your head during sex, it is important to let your partner know. Let them know what you are feeling and what you need from them. This can help to create a deeper connection and understanding between the two of you, which can make it easier to let go of any mental barriers (McNulty, 2010).
There are many ways to communicate with your partner during sex. One effective method is to simply tell them what you are feeling. Let them know if you are enjoying a particular sensation or if there is something you would like them to do differently. Another way to communicate is to use body language. This can include moaning, making eye contact, or simply moving in a way that indicates your pleasure.
3. Let go of expectations: Many people struggle to fully enjoy sex because they have unrealistic expectations of what it should be like. This can lead to overthinking and disappointment when things don’t go as planned. Instead, try to let go of any expectations and focus on being in the moment with your partner. Sex is not a performance, it’s a shared experience between two people, and it can take many different forms. By letting go of expectations, you can be more open to new experiences and enjoy the moment without any pressure.
4. Practice self-love and acceptance: It’s common for people to feel self-conscious during sex, especially when it comes to their bodies. However, it’s important to remember that your body is unique and beautiful, and your partner is with you because they find you attractive. Instead of focusing on any perceived flaws, try to practice self-love and acceptance. This can help boost your confidence and allow you to let go of any negative thoughts about yourself.
5. Explore your fantasies: Sometimes, getting out of your head during sex can be as simple as exploring your fantasies. It’s natural to have different desires and fantasies, and fulfilling them with a trusted partner can be a great way to let go of any mental barriers. Communicate with your partner about your fantasies and see if you can incorporate them into your sex life. This can add excitement and novelty, making it easier to get out of your head and fully enjoy the experience.
6. Seek therapy: If you find that your struggles with getting out of your head during sex are impacting your overall well-being and relationships, it may be helpful to seek therapy. A therapist can help you identify and address any underlying issues that may be causing these mental barriers. They can also provide coping strategies and tools to help you overcome them. Remember, there is no shame in seeking help and taking care of your mental health.
Conclusion: Getting out of your head during sex may prove to be quite a challenging task but worth fighting for. It is possible to let go of the mind and feel sex in full intimacy and pleasure when you cultivate mindfulness, communicate with your partner, drop expectations, love and accept yourself, explore your fantasies, and get therapy if need be. Remember, everyone goes on their own unique process during this journey, so be kind and patient with yourself as you start to discover and connect with your partner.
