Getting what you want in bed is something that so many people desire. Whether you are in a long-term relationship or barely just blossomed in your sexuality, knowing exactly what you want and how to communicate that can make all of the difference in your sexual encounters. One has to be mindful of the fact that everybody is different, and thus, what might work out for person A might not really work out quite as well for person B. However, generally speaking, there are some do’s and don’ts that can guide you to attain your desires in bed.
1. Know Yourself and Your Desires
The first step to getting what you want in bed is knowing yourself and your desires. This requires exploration, self-awareness, and introspection. Taking time to understand your own body, preferences, and desires is crucial in ensuring that you have a satisfying sexual experience.
Masturbation is a great way to explore your own body and discover what feels good to you. This can include paying attention to the types of touch, pressure, and speed that you enjoy. Additionally, reading erotica, watching adult films, or engaging in other forms of sexual expression can help stimulate your imagination and give you a better understanding of your desires.
Paying attention to your thoughts and fantasies is also an essential aspect of knowing yourself and your desires. What turns you on? What gets you in the mood? Understanding your sexual triggers and turn-ons can help you communicate these desires to your partner and increase the chances of having a satisfying sexual experience.
2. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Communication is key in any relationship, and it is especially important when it comes to sex. Being open and honest with your partner about your desires and what you want in bed is crucial for creating a safe and fulfilling sexual relationship.
It is essential to establish a safe and open space where you can both share your desires without judgment. This can be challenging, as talking about sex can be uncomfortable for some people. However, creating a non-judgmental and supportive environment can help alleviate these anxieties and make it easier to communicate your desires.
Listening to your partner’s desires and coming to a mutual understanding of what you both want is also crucial. This requires active listening and a willingness to compromise. By understanding and respecting each other’s desires, you can create a fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship.
3. Use Positive Reinforcement
When your partner does something that you enjoy in bed, make sure to give them positive reinforcement. This can be in the form of verbal praise, physical touch, or simply showing your appreciation through your body language. Positive reinforcement can encourage your partner to continue doing the things that you enjoy and can also help build their confidence in bed.
4. Be Specific
When communicating your desires, it is important to be specific. Instead of saying ‘I want you to be more romantic in bed,’ try saying ‘I would love it if you kissed my neck more often.’ Being specific allows your partner to have a clear understanding of what you want and can help them fulfill your desires more accurately.
5. Try New Things Together
Exploring new things in the bedroom can be exciting and can help you both discover new desires and pleasures. Talk to your partner about trying new positions, toys, or role-playing scenarios. Be open to trying new things and encourage your partner to do the same. This can help you both discover new things that you enjoy and create a more fulfilling sexual experience.
6. Practice Consent and Boundaries
It is important to always respect your partner’s boundaries and practice consent in the bedroom. Make sure to always ask for consent and never pressure your partner into doing something they are not comfortable with. This creates a safe and trusting space for both partners to express their desires without fear of judgment or discomfort.
7. Don’t Be Afraid to Give Feedback
Feedback is an important aspect of any sexual experience. If something your partner is doing is not working for you, don’t be afraid to give them feedback. However, make sure to do so in a constructive and non-judgmental way. This can help your partner understand what you like and what they can do to improve the experience for both of you.
8. Be Patient and Understanding
Getting what you want in bed may not happen overnight. It takes time, patience and understanding to build a fulfilling sexual relationship with your partner. Be patient with each other and understand that it may take some trial and error to figure out what works best for both of you.
Getting what you want from bed is all about open and honest communication, mutual respect and understanding, and readiness to try out new things. Always be guided by the bounds and desires of your partner and remain open to explore and discover with them. These tips could help in guiding you toward a more enriching and satisfying sexual experience for yourself and your partner.
