Many religions and cultures still have stigmas associated with sexual activities and consider sexual acts shameful. But do you know that shame about sexual interactions can lead to reduced sex drive? Here’s what you should know.
Things have changed, the world is ever-changing and so do people’s perceptions. There still are communities where women don’t express bluntly even in front of their life partners. If they do, they are stigmatized. There are certain communities still holding the perception that women are to be governed by their husbands. This is what keeps those women confined inside certain limitations. They have to feel embarrassed even during intercourse. But the good news is that most of the world has left such thoughts behind. The contemporary lifestyle and culture are much different.
In this life, you never say never. All of us want the best that life has to offer, but it does not always happen. You will find yourself in trouble. Some of the problems you face are as a result of your poor decisions, while others happen and you cannot see how and why they did. Some of the decisions that can land you in problems are poor choices about engaging in sexual intercourse.
It is not the strict cultural belief only but there is something important to deal with, the moral values you hold and respect, and the religious teachings which you are bound to follow. We never discourage these things because they actually form the code of conduct. But let us have a look at how these strong forces interfere with your sexual life.
If you have engaged in a sexual activity that runs contrary to your personal beliefs, values, religious background or comfort levels, you may become so shy about engaging in sexual interactions in certain ways. Your present and past sexual decisions may haunt you for a very long time and cause depletion in your female libido especially when you come into contact with the same or similar situations. When specific value-based considerations are coming in-between you and your partner, you may end up not enjoy sexual intercourse the way you used to, and this can cause significant blow on your female libido.
If you are a strict Christian, for instance, certain sexual positions may seem unholy to you, and you may feel ashamed to engage in such acts with your partner even though you derived more pleasure from them when you practiced them. For some strict religious individuals, having sexual intercourse before marriage is prohibited and when they remember how they lost their virginity probably on prom night or a female night out, they tend to become more reserved and restrict the sexual pleasures they engage in.
A person who has undergone bad sexual experiences such as rape, sexual assault or just a terrible experience with an ex-partner also have chances of facing shame when it comes to sexual interactions. Sexual trauma, whose impact has always been underestimated can significantly interfere with the victim’s life, including his sex life. For instance, a woman who has been raped, and his partner is aware of it, might feel unworthy of his partner and this will extend even to the bedroom. Victims of such happenings should seek professional help at the earliest opportunity to overcome the trauma.
Dealing with shame and low sex drive
There is no point thinking about what has happened in the past. Hence, you need to forgive yourself if you believe you have compromised on your personal beliefs, values, or religious obligations. When you forgive yourself, you will be able to put the shame behind you and open your mind to new techniques that can help you derive more pleasure and help sustain your female libido. You need to talk openly with your partner and do not be judgmental about as regards any value-based considerations in practicing sex techniques. Your partner will naturally understand your religious and personal values and will like to explore with you other options that you can explore together.
Getting more education can also help you in dealing with some of the sexual conducts you believe are shameful when you get more knowledge on certain sexual pleasures, you will discover that they are not disgraceful actually, but the misconceptions surrounding such acts make them appear to be shameful. Lack of education is the reason why many couples abstain from what could have been the saving grace for their low female libido and the moment they unravel the conspiracies surrounding such beliefs, they become enlightened and opened to new ways and ideas to spice up their boring sex lives.
There is no point to be ashamed of your past sexual interactions since everyone has some forms of ugly pasts. Hence you are not alone. Confessing about your previous sexual conducts to your partner will help you take the guilt off your mind. If you are afraid of talking to your partner, then you should consider seeking the help of a psychologist who can help you put behind the shame and also help you deal with the humiliation in such a way that your sex life will come back to life.
To sum up, we discussed how people feel shameful about sexual interaction, and this behavior gradually deteriorates their sex drive. There is a hope that creating awareness can help people eliminate the inside shame and openly discuss sex drive issues.
Why Do I Feel Shame About My Sexual Desire?
Sexual desire is a natural and normal part of human nature, yet it is often accompanied by feelings of shame and guilt. This is especially true for those who experience sexual desire for individuals of the same gender, or for those who identify as homosexual or bisexual. However, even heterosexual individuals can also experience shame and guilt surrounding their sexual desires, particularly towards females.
There are several potential reasons why one may feel shame about their sexual desire for females. One of the main reasons is societal and cultural norms and expectations surrounding sexuality. Throughout history, female sexuality has been heavily policed and stigmatized. Women have been expected to be modest and chaste, with their sexuality being seen as something to be controlled and repressed. This has led to the creation of a double standard where men are often praised and celebrated for their sexual desires and experiences, while women are shamed and judged for the same. This societal expectation of female sexuality as being pure and submissive can lead to feelings of shame and guilt for those who experience sexual desire for females, as it goes against the societal norm.
Religion also plays a significant role in shaping attitudes towards sexuality, particularly towards same-sex desires. Many religious teachings view homosexuality as a sin and promote the idea that sexual desire should only be directed towards individuals of the opposite gender. This can create internal conflicts and feelings of shame for individuals who identify as religious and also experience sexual desire for females. They may struggle with reconciling their religious beliefs with their sexual desires, leading to feelings of guilt and shame.
Another factor that can contribute to shame surrounding sexual desire for females is family and peer influence. Growing up in a family or social circle that holds negative attitudes towards same-sex relationships can have a significant impact on one’s self-perception and beliefs about their own desires. This can lead to feelings of shame and hiding one’s true feelings to avoid rejection or judgment from loved ones.
Media and popular culture also play a role in perpetuating shame surrounding sexual desires for females. The representation of female sexuality in the media is often hyper-sexualized and objectified, leading to the belief that women are only meant to be sexual objects for male pleasure. This can create feelings of shame for individuals who experience sexual desire for females, as it goes against the societal expectation of women as passive and submissive.
Moreover, the lack of representation and visibility of diverse sexualities in the media can also contribute to feelings of shame. Seeing only heterosexual relationships portrayed as the norm can make those who experience same-sex desires feel abnormal and different, leading to feelings of shame and isolation.
It is important to acknowledge that shame surrounding sexual desire for females is also linked to internalized homophobia and internalized misogyny. Internalized homophobia refers to the negative attitudes and beliefs an individual may hold towards their own same-sex desires, while internalized misogyny refers to the ingrained societal belief that femininity and female sexuality are inferior to masculinity and male sexuality. These internalized beliefs can lead to feelings of self-hatred and shame towards one’s own sexual desires.
In addition to societal and cultural factors, shame about sexual desire for females can also stem from personal experiences, such as past traumas or negative sexual experiences. These experiences can create a sense of fear and vulnerability around sexual desires, leading to feelings of shame and a desire to suppress them.
So, what can be done to overcome feelings of shame about sexual desire for females? It is crucial to challenge and question the societal norms and expectations surrounding sexuality. Recognizing that everyone has the right to express their sexuality in a way that feels authentic to them is essential in breaking down the stigma and shame surrounding diverse sexual desires. Seeking out and connecting with individuals who share similar experiences and feelings can also provide a sense of validation and acceptance.
Furthermore, actively working on accepting and embracing one’s own desires is crucial in overcoming shame. This can involve challenging internalized beliefs and self-reflection, as well as seeking support from a therapist or counselor. Educating oneself about diverse sexualities and understanding that there is no one ‘right’ way to experience and express sexual desire can also be helpful.
In conclusion, shame about sexual desire for females is a complex and multi-faceted issue that is influenced by societal, cultural, and personal factors. It is crucial to recognize and challenge these factors in order to overcome feelings of shame and embrace one’s own sexuality. Everyone deserves to feel proud and confident in their sexual desires, regardless of societal expectations and norms. It is time to break the silence and end the shame surrounding diverse sexualities.
